duty on st valentine’s day? no worries!

To all NSF’s who are romantically bound to a girl or a boy, and have to do whatever kind of duty on the 14th of February, here is your answer.

“Dear ah, i hafta do duty on valentines day leh. and since you’re intelligent enough to be my girlfriend you would have deduced that i can’t spend it with you. and don’t you worry. i will be thinking about you for the whole day, especially since i’m surrounded by many other masculine men who are trapped in the same cell as i am, and especially since it’s v-day, the day that i really wanted to spend with you in the first place. tell you what. v-day is such a null-occasion nowadays anyway, cos everywhere we go, people want to know… err.. oops that’s an army song. everywhere we go, couples would be around and there would be so much pressure and the romance is somewhat forced, don’t you think? and the money i need to spend is sooooo unnecessary! erm, not that i mind, of course. i would spend any amount on you just to make you happy, any day. erm, yes, money is not the issue here. i just blurted it off all of a sudden. Anyway, let’s say we get on with our normal lives on that one day that comes every year, and get together on the day that comes every 4 years — 29 February! It would be much more special! and there would be noticeably fewer couples on the street, cos most of the guys should have been broke after that reckless spending spree on that one severely non-economical night two weeks back. and the stuff that i buy would be so so so much cheaper! erm, not that i mind, actually, hee hee oh no i hope my laughter doesn’t make me sound too nervous about the fact that i’m obviously lying about the money issue. and oh no why am i articulating such hidden secret thoughts that go through in my mind all the time. think of a way to get out of this. think. think. think. erm, seacrest, out. yes, yes, go on commenting on how outdated that line is and forget whatever i have just said, ok? so it’s a date on 29feb! woohoo!”

That should do the trick, yes?

The one about secretaries and other random thoughts

1.
Can you imagine how scarred those Pokémon Trainers who start out with Rattata would turn out to be? Starting out with Charmander or even Pikachu would lift your spirits and be a telltale sign that you’re going to accomplish something big some day. You can start off on the right note because you know that someone wants you to have high self-esteem when you grow up. But with Rattata, or Pidgey? Oh man. And what about that guy who has 6 Level 5 Magikarps? He would be so pwned by a wild Level 3 Rattata..

2.
Next time when you see a neighbour, don’t just say “hello”. Think of something else to say, like (duh) “Merry Christmas!” I may have many hi-hello neighbours, but i don’t have any hi-merry-christmas! neighbours T_T

3.
I’ve noticed a particular trend in the male assistant/ right-hand-man figure in a number of comedies. Yes, inevitably and undeniably, he would turn out to be gay. Just look at Little Britain. Or The Simpsons. Or The Office. Yes, i know Dwight has a girlfriend in Angela, but he’s still very… queer. Another thing i noticed (even from Chinese dramas!) is that the female secretaries tend to be smoking hot and pretty! In future if i ever become a huge success, or at least successful enough to have my own PA or secretary, it’s gonna be a female one. No question about that. The male one would probably (like Dwight) arrange the stuff on my desk “the way i like it”, but no way am i going to have to deal with some sexually confused person legally stalking me.

4.
Never forget extra pairs of underwear if you have to stay-in-camp for 7 days straight. It’s not unhygienic — it is just downright disgusting. Fortunately for me i haven’t experienced it yet. Can’t say that for other people… haha.

a pun

“Success” really sounds like “sucks ass”.

my posting

i’ve been posted to Changi Naval Base as a SEA SOLDIER. Yeah it’s also the first time seeing that vocation for me, so please don’t ask me what the hell it is about as it will only make me more stressed. Somehow, knowing what you’re getting into, however ‘xiong’ (ie. exhausting) the course is, is always better than not knowing what you’re getting into.

If they sent me to GUARDS, at least i could think, “omg cheehow you’d better prepare yourself for some tough crap”. If i got posted to Combat Medic, at least i could think, ” omg cheehow you’re so lucky i would die to be you. oops i’m already you.” Then if they posted me to Sispec or OCS, at least i could think, “omg cheehow how how how did you get into Command School without passing your IPPT? it’s gonna be xiong but who cares!”

Now that i’m a sea soldier, i don’t really know what to think. I’ve heard of totally opposite opinions about the course. Some say it’s very relaxed, while others say that it is one of the toughest courses. I’d like to think for a while that it is a relaxed course, just so i can live in my own world for the next 2 days before i have to go back to Changi prison… oops i mean my Changi camp. Argh. So far.

Anyway let’s take a short review on my endeavours in the first few weeks of BMT.

“My aim in NS is:
1. to get along well – did quite well! no quarrels or anything so it’s ok.
2. get a better body aka better fitness too – doing okay
3. to get to OCS (Officer Cadet School) – far from it lol
4. to not waste my time during NS (as most men do) – yeah i guess it’s fine at present
5. to be able to do 10 pull-ups by myself – ROFL! 4 only so far. but i still have 21 months to go, which is quite a lot of time for me to get to the coveted 10 pull-ups for myself. especially since i’m now an official SEA SOLDIER! Actually i’m aiming for a bit more than 10 right now. but oh well. 10 first. don’t be too greedy.
6. to enjoy training and treasure the experience – right on the spot man!”

Yarp! I’m gonna be one of the few who actually goes to a vocation that not many people knows about, so i’m just going to go through the whole experience and come out of it as a GREATER MAN! I hope my enthusiasm for the course doesn’t die down in the first few weeks of training. haha.

nearing the end… :)

Your mother was lying when she told you

1. that you didn’t need to sweep the roads if you studied hard. There i was welding broom and dustpan sweeping the roads of Pulau Tekong as part of the Honourary Duties programme that we were kindly selected for.

2. that you didn’t need to clean the toilets if you studied hard. There my 4-distinctions bunkmate is being “Toilet Cleaner I/C”. It doesn’t mean that he is in charge of all the Toilet Cleaners. It means he gets punished the worst if the Toilet Cleaners didn’t do a good enough job cleaning the toilet. In other words, he should be called “I/C for getting punished for dirty toilets”.

3. that using your brain to think is good. I have one word. Wrong.

So well, the time has come for us to stop doing Area Cleaning and self-declare such sessions as “Admin Time” or “Sleep on your Bed Without Getting Caught Time”. And oh yes BMT is ending too.

* i wrote this a week ago but didn’t post it. argh.*

interview@ntu(mass comm) vs interview@nus(business)

as much as the interviewers learnt about me, i learnt a few things from both interviews too!

1. it pretty much depends on how you look at things. I was pessimistic about the rain before trodding out from the SAF Ferry Terminal to get to NTU. I felt it was saddening, a downpour, a dampening to the whole event of booking out to go for an interview. True enough, the interview turned out pretty bad. Opposing that, I was optimistic about the rain before trodding out from my home to get to NUS. I felt it was refreshing, a cleansing, a refining, a new beginning to the whole event of walking out to go for the interview. And alas, true enough, the interview turned out fine. Or at least i think it’s fine. I haven’t gotten any letter from NUS Business School regarding my entry. Yet. So i’m still hopeful =)

2. Don’t try to be too creative. When asked about what your favourite movie is, reply with a standard answer, or at least a good one. There’s a difference between being creative, and being too out-of-the-box. A standard answer would be any Hollywood movie that you’ve seen and really like. A good answer would be “Babel” because it is the best example for a movie you like, at the School of Communication and Information, because it has to do with communication or the lack thereof that causes the most dire of consequences. A too-creative answer (aka. bloody dumb idea) would be to say “Oh, i like Finding Nemo because it was inspiring to me when i watched it in secondary school.” Firstly, wtf are you doing watching that movie when you’re in SECONDARY SCHOOL? Secondly, how *inspiring* can a father-save-child-from-so-and-so movie get? Now i can only think back and regret upon my terribly failed attempt
at trying to be creative. D’oh.

3. Try to sell yourself as much as possible, but be humble about everything, and explain everything succinctly if possible (aka. don’t bloody stutter like you have problems saying the word “errrr” properly, such that you go “errr… errr…. errrrrr…” etc). During the NTU interview i was basically gripping on tightly to my portfolio, as though i was the overbearing, overprotective and overweight father of my little yellow portfolio. That rhymes so well, doesn’t it? Back to the point. During the NUS interview i basically let go of my portfolio and School Graduation Certifications, and the interviewers requested that they look through it. That didn’t happen during the NTU interview. Oh well. My bad.

4. Relax, man. Everything will be fine. Close your eyes and pray if you have to, just to calm your nerves down. Interviewers appreciate you being calm and confident even when you’re heart is pounding 32762374623 times a second. Stay tranquil on your way to high blood pressure!

Well, i do feel a bit proud of myself after the NUS Business School interview. Now, i can only cross my fingers and pray that i do get in. Business, business, business..